Have you ever noticed people take on the disease OCD as some kind of badge of honor. As if having OCD means you are in control of something completely when in reality there is no control for those who suffer from it. They'll say something like, "I'm so OCD about it". No...I don't have obsessive compulsive disorder...but there are a few things that make me a little crazy, obsessive. One is unsolved problems or unfound items. If you ask me to find the super glue or that picture of the flower gardens you took in 1986 I'm going to find it. I will tear apart every drawer, climb to the top of the closet, and dig through every box in that room (another day...another blog) and I'm not going to do anything else until I find it.
Sometimes, especially at night, frequently first thing in the morning, my brain starts to work on problems, often problems I didn't even know I had. I feel a little out of control sometimes when this happens; I'm looking for the off switch to my brain and wishing I could move on to more important issues in my life. Funny thing, though, sometimes I solve the problem, or find the item, subconsciously. When that happens, it's sublime; there's nothing quite like the euphoria of finding a difficult answer. But most of the time it just makes for a tumultuous night...not quite as beautiful as Van Gogh's...but certainly filled with the same kind of tossing and turning.
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