For the record, I can't stand most of my oldest son's friends. (And if you're one of them or one of their parents then it's not you/your son that I can't stand.) Here are the reasons why:Reason #1: They have a combined IQ of 7. Let's say you have a couple of frozen burritos and you come over to my house to cook and eat them. A logical person would put them in the microwave or oven. MSF (My sons friends) crank up the flame on the barbecue and and torch them until the tortilla is black and the inside is still solid as a rock. Bon appetite!
Reason #2: They use ordinary household items for deviant purposes. Most people use deodorant under the arm to prevent odor. MSF used it to write his name on my son's bedroom wall. (And this goes back to reason #1, the IQ, if you're going to tag with deodorant somewhere, don't write your own name, duh!)
Reason #3: They take over the house. Gone are the days where I could send them down into the playroom and not hear from them for hours. Now their sheer size and number is the elephant in the room. They may not necessarily stay together: three on the BB court, two on the Wii, one on the computer, and a couple more in the kitchen eating my food. They descend like a swarm of locusts on my pantry and leave it barren.
Reason #4: They are loud. Testosterone must initially eradicate the "inside voice" or they're just so excited about the new lower register.
I do my best to keep them in line. And as much as I can't stand them, I know somebody's got to keep feeding and guiding them. One of them is my own flesh and blood and I'd like to keep him around for a while.
1 comment:
Elizabeth, you crack me up! Someone told me once--wish I could remember who, where, or why--regarding the usefulness of boys needed to assist with projects--if you have one boy, you have one boy. If you bring along two boys, you have half a boy. Bring three boys, and you have no boys at all. (Bon appetite indeed!)
Post a Comment